To use a typically edgelord quote, hell is other people. Dating people involves putting yourself in proximity to other people, because you like their face. However, dating in the time of Tinder has led to some disastrous outcomes and behaviour that should be trained out of us. If you missed my first one, it’s here.

We’re Focused On Sex

Most people these days have zero interest (and put zero effort) into actually getting to know someone unless there’s a possibility of the two of them taking their clothes off and getting sexual. I mean, okay – sex is super accessible these days. Swipe, chat, boom. You get some. More often than not, sex doesn’t lead to a relationship though. It just leads to one-night-stands and heartache.

Side note: After some questioning and observations, it would seem that Malaysians are terrible at the whole Friends-With-Benefits thing.

We Expect Non-Existent Perfection

Social media has given us unrealistic expectations. I can verify this: how many times a week I used to scroll through my feeds and sigh loudly about this friend’s romantic getaway to Paris or that acquaintance’s engagement party or someone’s ‘surprise’ trip to some place she’d been dreaming about. Blah. We think we’re entitled to a fairytale experience that seems to exist only in movies. I get it, we’re picky and nothing is ever good enough but writing people off for minor flaws is just a sign that we don’t get it.

Malaysia, I’m getting at you. Y’all are some of The Worst when it comes to relationship hypocrisy. A good portion of guys want perfect porcelain girls who fit into that virginal stereotype (but aren’t clingy/needy/already know what a Real Relationship is like) and a number of girls seem to look for punching bag types with inflated bank accounts. What is wrong with all of you?

We Don’t Feel Accountable For The Pain We Inflict

I have a colleague nicknamed The Lightning Rod of Hate because whether it’s in-game or in real life, he seems to attract some interesting characters. I get you, guys. We have ‘crazy people’ around us, and sometimes they’re not too kind.

That being said, why don’t we feel accountable for the pain we inflict on other people? In fact, why are we proud of it? We don’t feel any inclination to take responsibility or apologize for the damage we’ve done. It’s not my problem, it’s theirs. It’s their emotions, so they’ve gotta resolve it. The expectation is that the way it’s received is a reflection of them, not the shit we’ve dumped on them.

Again, Malaysia. Get your shit together.

Dating as a millennial seems to be a minefield clusterf**k that we’re finding hard to navigate. In fact, for all the lamenting we do online – it would seem that we’re in the midst of a dating apocalypse. Here’s a question for some (much needed) self-reflection: how much of this existential angst about our perceived attractiveness is actually self-inflicted?