By Violet Lim of Lunch Actually
The Level recently published two articles entitled “5 Reasons Millennial Dating Sucks”, and “3 More Reasons Dating as a Millennial is Messed Up”. While both articles had good points, millennials shouldn’t think that it’s all gloom and doom for their own love lives!
I agree that it can be easy to feel depressed about the dating scene in 2017, especially if you’re a young adult in your 20s and 30s. Out of university and straight into a busy workforce, it can seem daunting for millennials to put themselves out there and find genuine love nowadays.
Then, there’s “ghosting”, “breadcrumbing”, “benching”, “catfishing” and so on, new terms created in the past decade due to the rise of technology. They describe acts like suddenly disappearing on the person you’re dating, stringing along someone romantically by texting them from time to time without promising commitment, or pretending to be someone they are not.
However, like anything in life, there are always two sides to the story. I’d rather look at the positive side because after all, dating as a millennial can be fun with endless possibilities!
My young millennial associates often fill the office with chatter about good dates, whether their own or that of our clients. We are always happy in the office when our clients give good feedback for a date!
Take it from a certified Matchmaker and the Founder of Asia’s first and largest dating company – dating as a millennial CAN be fun, and here are six reasons why:
1. Meeting People from All Walks of Life
Dating as a millennial means that you get to meet people from all walks of life. Expand your social circles, and perhaps meet a writer, a banker, a barista, or a pro-athlete that you may not have met otherwise.
I believe that every romantic relationship should start from friendship. With the current technology and social media, it’s now easier to reconnect with old friends, and that re-connection may even blossom into a romance.
I also encourage singles to treat their first date as a meeting with a new friend. When you make new friendships and give it time for chemistry and connection to develop, it can then have the potential to grow into something else.
Even if the relationship doesn’t turn romantic, you will still have a better idea of what you are looking for in a potential lifelong partner. You may even have a new friend who might introduce you to The Right One.
2. Being Able to Choose Someone for Love, Rather Than Out of Actual Necessity
In the past, it was not uncommon for women and men to marry because of a sense of “duty”, rather than out of a sense of “love”.
While having too much choice in terms of your dating pool is a bad thing, having your dating options limited because you need to depend on someone for your livelihood is no bed of roses too. Then there’s marrying because you’re expected to, and not because you truly want to.
Marriage used to be seen as a way to seek financial stability, especially for the women. However, with more women now highly educated and doing well in their careers, marriage is now a REAL choice – a choice that lets you know that you truly love and are loved in return.
In 2017, the average millennial can have romantic relationships where both parties choose each other simply because they want to, not because they HAVE to. Now, that’s something that rocks indeed.
3. There Are Many Millennials Who Are Interested in Commitment Too, Like You!
A lot of media portray the image that millennials find it hard to date because they can’t and don’t want to commit. However, it’s simply a generalization.
Who says there are no millennials who are as serious about finding love as you?
Sure, you have a larger dating pool to wade through. In my experience, however, if you are upfront about your own expectations from the beginning, you will be able to avoid the non-genuine singles.
Make it clear that while you’re not in a rush to get married, you will not tolerate time-wasters who are stringing you along. If you are in doubt about the status of your relationship, never be afraid to ask and make things clear. It’s better to end things early than to hope for something that will never be.
4. There’s So Much Activity to Try Out on Dates!
It’s great to be a millennial in 2017 in so many ways. In a country like Malaysia, there are tons of places to go and activities to do. You can café-hop, go sightseeing, take a walking tour, go to the zoo, bowling, and so on. Make your dating life more colorful by asking your date to accompany you on activities you would like to do, and kill two birds with one stone.
The sky is pretty much the limit when it comes to date ideas in this gorgeous, resource-rich country. However, I’d recommend that your first couple of dates be at places where you can talk to each other without being interrupted by loud noise constantly. After all, the point of the first date is to get to know each other.
5. Online Dating is No Longer Seen as “Weird”
In the past, with huge social stigma when it came to dating services, people had to hide the fact that they would use dating apps and the like. However, as time went on, perceptions have now changed and majority of singles would have at least tried using a dating platform before!
We now live in an era where people are used to outsourcing errands. For example, when we go travelling, we consider the services of travel agencies. When we look for a job, we turn to recruitment agencies. In the same sense, singles looking for love can now readily turn to a professional matchmaking agency or online dating service provider to find love as well.
There are already many couples who have found their true love via online dating – people they wouldn’t have met otherwise. In fact, nowadays, most singles have tried out one or more online dating platforms before they found The Right One in their dating journey. This is an encouraging trend that proves that yes, online dating DOES work.
6. There Are Many Avenues to Find Genuine Love – Yes, Really!
Are you getting more excited to go out there and explore how fun dating can be? I hope so!
When you are ready to meet new people and be more proactive in finding someone you can connect with, nowadays there are many avenues available for you to make that happen.
You can ask your friends or family to introduce you to their friends that they will personally vouch for, for example. If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, there’s also joining classes to slowly get to know someone and improve yourself at the same time. There are plenty of activities and workshops out there that you can sign up for.
Then, there are dating services, online dating or dating apps that are catered for casual daters or serious daters. Do your research, and make sure you try the services that best fulfill your preferences and expectations.
There’s something that I always tell singles – which is that they can’t just be sitting around waiting for their Prince Charming or Mrs Right without doing anything as they won’t just fall from the sky. Create opportunities and platforms to meet new people. Dating is a numbers game; the more people you meet, the higher the chance that you will find your special someone.
You’ll come to see that dating as a millennial is actually pretty fun – and it is this mindset and taking action is what will lead you to The Right One!
This article is contributed by Violet Lim, Co-Founder and CEO of Lunch Actually, South-East Asia’s first and largest dating company with 13 years of experience.