By Norain F.
Think of John Bender, the asshole 80s heartthrob in the iconic The Breakfast Club. Tall, dark and not too shabby-looking, with a troubled past scribbled up his sleeves. I don’t know about you but he makes me feel tingly all over. Already my friends grow tired of me, and you’d think I would have learned by now. I know the trouble I’m getting into in these type of ‘relationships’, but I can’t help fall for the pretty bad boys. I still venture into the dark with hopes that he’ll soon ‘change, but let’s be real, we all know they never do.
Five months into the relationship and you’ve already experienced ten heartbreaks from all the ten times he went out with ten different girls. You wish you actually listened to your best friend when you called her the night you thought you were in love. And now you realize that short-lived infatuation does not equate to love. So is it true that women are predisposed to finding men with ‘bad boy’ attributes attractive or is it just me?
Hormones definitely influence your decision-making when it comes to sexual attraction. You know that they’re bad for you, and they’re probably going to leave you after a horrible one night stand but something inside your head tells you to just go for it. If you find yourself stuck in this situation, be calm. Contrary to popular belief, bad dating decisions not only occur to teenagers but it also adults. It’s not entirely your fault and chances are, your hormones actually influence your impulsive decision-making. Research shows that women are more attracted to a specific type of men known as ‘alpha’ and it has a lot to do with the ‘good genes’ theory of mate selection, which you can find out more about on Google.
Now that you know what causes the infatuation, what exactly can you learn from dating fuccbois? First of all, STOP trying to think that you can change them because that’s never going to happen. You might think that with the right time, techniques and persuasion, you’re going to change them for the better. “I will make him love me so much that he’s going to stop fu*king around with girls he meet on Tinder.” Sorry to rain on your parade, honey, but a guy who slept around with girls for his entire life is not going to change for you. He will change on his own accord, and that’s the way it is.
Let’s use a metaphor to help you understand better. Bad boys are just brochures of a pretty island vacation. Pristine beaches, chilling underneath the palm tree, sipping luxury cocktails. Except you’re not going to exactly get what has been advertised in the brochure. It’s basically false advertisement and you’re the one at loss. Don’t get me wrong, though. He is pretty. He’s tall, handsome and he talks like he’s in a movie. He’s totally your type. The indie music enthusiast bad boy in all these coming-of-age movies who smokes a pack a day, plays guitar and breaks hearts. But that’s because he advertises himself well. But for the love of God, it’s all just false advertising. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
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The next time you find yourself in a situation where you seem to favor the bad guy over the good guy, remember that your hormones affect your decisions. You won’t feel so guilty anymore for giving in to the guy who screwed you over for the hundredth times. It’s all part of a growth process anyway and you’re bound to make a few mistakes here and there. But make sure the mistakes count as lessons – the kind of lessons we all need to learn from.