It’s Monday! Which also means that it’s a fluff piece day, but well – I’m running out of weird skincare items to write about (centipedes are now a thing though). There wasn’t much to really rant or rave about this week, but hey: here are some dating fails that might get you through the last few hours of the day.

*Submissions are anonymous and edited for clarity.

 

The Fantasy of Scotland

“A guy three years ago who I was initially attracted to asked me out and inquired about my childhood during the lunch date. When I told him I grew up in Scotland he was surprised. He actually asked me if Scotland was a real place, and after explaining he assumed Scotland was a fictional location in Western mythology, like Camelot or El Dorado.

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This was coming from a guy who graduated with Masters in Architecture.”

 

The Guy Who Couldn’t Keep His Sight At Eye Level

“Wow, you don’t look 25! But your boobs though, your boobs definitely look 25.”

I still can’t believe it.

 

The Boring Every-girl

I asked her if she had any passions or interests and she replied with, “I don’t have any. I’m just a boring, ordinary girl.” I tried again with “If you’re a boring ordinary girl, what makes you unique?” – she just looked confused and replied with “Uh… nothing?” Needless to say, I left pretty quickly.

 

The Maybe Murderer

“I don’t believe in the transgender thing… if I went home with a chick and she whipped out a dick I’d probably kill her.” Conversation whilst playing pool on a first date.

 

Poor Depth Perception

One evening, this girl and I were chilling by the pool area at her place. Without eating any food that day, we smoked a few joints, chilled and chatted away. My head started spinning then, so we decided to eat at the cafe nearby. When the food came, I started feeling nauseous and told her I needed to go to the bathroom.

I walked toward the bathroom, thinking that I was miles away from her – I couldn’t make it. I stopped and puked. Unfortunately, I was just few meters away from our table, and she witnessed everything.

 

Not An ATM

A guy once forgot his wallet and asked me to pay for dinner – then he asked me to buy him coffee, before requesting a second date to pay me back. He didn’t get it.

It’s 2017, don’t do this.

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