So, what do you think of when you hear the term sugar daddy? Google defines a sugar daddy as “a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favors”. Right. It might sound off-putting to some, but to others – this is a pretty sweet deal.
TheSugarBook (TSB) is Asia’s first online sugar daddy dating platform, and they’ve got over 45,000 members globally. The realm of online dating isn’t a new thing, and TSB looks to make finding your sugar daddy (or mommy) that much easier. The realm of sugaring isn’t restricted to young women, after all.
Creating an account is free, although you can upgrade to a premium account (you know it’s serious when you spend money on these sorts of things) – that gives you access to more filters and features, like knowing when a message is read. You can search for potential partners and filter through them like whether they’re smokers, drinkers, relationship status, and so many more.
A little bit about being in the sugar bowl: what used to be a very hush-hush kind of deal, only discussed with whispers and hearsay is now becoming more commonplace. With that, so are attitudes towards it. The current ratio of Sugar Babies to Sugar Daddies are at 3:1 on TSB, and of all their female Sugar Babies – over 32% are within the age range of 30 – 40 while about 50% are between the ages of 18 to 29.
Guess it’s not just for college girls, eh?
A few years ago, there was an article about the lifestyle and how “pampering” can be anything from explicitly negotiated financial compensation (an allowance) to material gifts, and “companionship” can be well, anything. Use your imagination. It’s two consenting adults, in a May-December kind of tryst.
We managed to get in with a Malaysian sugar baby – and she’s been kind enough to answer a couple of burning questions we had. Read on for the interview:
Name: Nicole C
Occupation: Student/Part-time Barista/Freelance model
The Level MY: Are sugar baby relationships exclusive? Are they allowed to date while in an arrangement such as this?
TSB: We started TheSugarBook.com as a safe and secure online Sugar Daddy Dating platform where like-minded individuals can meet and form mutually beneficial relationships. In regards to the terms of relationships, it is up to the individuals to discuss, negotiate and come to an agreement.
Therefore, every Sugar Relationship is different.
NC: Just like every ‘normal’ relationship, when I first met my Sugar Daddy, I was still casually chatting with other potential Sugar Daddies. I met up with a few to gauge our chemistry and out of 5 men whom I had coffee with, only 2 of them caught my fancy and I was going out for dinner with both until I decided that I would like to have only 1 steady Sugar Daddy.
How long does such an arrangement last? Is there a discussion on this?
NC: My arrangement with the last Sugar Daddy was around 6 months. There wasn’t a specific ‘break up’ talk. We just kind of drifted apart. He didn’t live in Malaysia and we would only meet up when he is in town. After a while, without consistent communication, we just stopped talking.
Do you prefer receiving material gifts instead of an allowance?
NC: Actually, for me, I would prefer to receive a steady monthly allowance rather than gifts. Just like any boyfriend, my previous Sugar Daddy tried to surprise me with presents every now and then but we have different tastes in things. And I am still in college so if he provides me with an allowance, it helps a lot with my monthly expenses.
Are there any moral conflicts when entering an arrangement like this?
NC: No, as I do not view this as anything sinful or wrong.
Are you honest with your romantic/sexual partners (if any) about your arrangements? Have you ever had both at the same time?
NC: I am always honest with all my romantic/sexual partners with all my past relationships and I will continue to be honest for my future relationships. I do not deem having a Sugar Daddy as anything different from dating a man who is older than me (btw, my ex-Sugar Daddy was only 37).
I have not had both at the same. I am still in college, I work part-time and I have my family and friends to hang out with and I also consider my Sugar Daddy as an exclusive relationship after we discussed and agreed to it. So I don’t have so much time to have so many partners.
Is sex an absolute requirement?
NC: Like any normal relationship, sex is never mandatory and I would not do anything that I am not comfortable with. My Sugar Daddy still had to woo me and only if I am attracted to him and trust him, will I feel inclined to reciprocate. Otherwise no.
Do you often stick to NSA (no strings attached) or have you ever entered a relationship with your Sugar Daddy?
NC: When I started TheSugarBook.com, I was seeing 2 Sugar Daddies – we connected on the platform, we chatted almost every day, Skyped with both before we went out for coffee and that’s when I felt more connected to one over the other. He must have felt the same too cause when he proposed that we enter into an exclusive Sugar Relationship, I was actually really pleased. When I told the other potential Sugar Daddy that I couldn’t see him anymore, he was ok with it. That’s the difference I guess with Sugar Relationships and normal relationships – there’s not a whole lot of emotions invested in the former.
How many arrangements have you had in the past?
NC: Just 1 exclusive Sugar Relationship and I would consider the other one although casual, would be a 2nd Sugar Relationship as well since I was engaging with him for a few months and he was financially supporting me too.
Is being discreet about these arrangements in Malaysia difficult?
NC: Not at all. I have friends who are Sugar Babies in college as well. And my Sugar Daddy and I go out in public to restaurants and clubs like every other couple. There’s nothing to be ‘discreet’ about.