By Angel Tong and Nick Wong
Dear single male,
So you’ve recently heard from your friend that he/she just started dating this amazing person whom they met on Tinder and you think if they can do it so can you; so you download the Tinder app and you click on this lit icon. You spend your first few hours swiping, swiping, matching, and miraculously one of them seems to like you and has agreed to go out for a “Tinder” date. It’s the same thing as any other regular date, but the difference is that you guys have never met before, so there’s that whole aura of mystery looming above your heads.
Take What She Likes Into Consideration
For the love of God, do not invite this girl to a mamak, you like her and want to impress her. If you can’t afford to take her to a proper restaurant, you shouldn’t be looking for dates in the first place. I’m not saying some girls wouldn’t be okay with it, but just don’t. You would want to be in a place in your life where you could sustain yourself (ie. have a job and can support yourself) before you think of dating anyone; much less being in a relationship with them. I’m also not saying you need to burn a hole through your wallet impressing her, but be aware of what you are capable of spending / doing. (For interesting ideas for budget dates, check out Tinder Date Survival Guide: Budget Dates)
It’s important that you both find a place where both of you would enjoy. This can be achieved easily by discussing with her beforehand on Tinder (or whichever social media you guys have progressed to) on what her favourite cuisines and dishes are; then do some research on Google, it doesn’t take too long trust me, especially if you live in Malaysia, food is our forte. By doing so, you show her you take her words into consideration and by researching/ asking friends for recommendations it shows her you put in a lot of thought into the date.
Be A Gentleman
Now, I always recommend to either pick her up (if she’s agreeable to it) but since it’s her first time meeting an essentially complete stranger, usually she would choose to travel herself, it’s completely normal and smart. Always try to be slightly earlier or at least on time as it sends a better impression when you arrive before your date. Macam interview kan? Lol jk. As Malaysian as we are, even if it’s just a casual date, girls want a guy who can ‘lead’ which means just plan a rough date in your head and if the girl comes to the date with the mentality of “what are we doing today?” just start off with lunch of dinner (this also gives you a small window to escape incase this person was not what you expected and you NEED to get out of there) and proceed with your plans (assuming she’s up for everything)
It’s Not Just A Man’s World
Skipping ahead to when the bill comes, I’m very old-fashioned so I believe the guy should always pay for the first date. But some girls are more modern and don’t like that, so if she insists on paying or splitting the bill, don’t argue too much and accept graciously, it’s good manners. Anyway I’m not going to tell you how to impress a girl during the date, that’s all on you my friend, this isn’t a “How to definitely impress your Tinder date” nonsense advice, more like “How NOT to ruin your Tinder date”. However you can check out the girl’s section on what not to do during a Tinder date and maybe that will give you a better idea. (Tip: Pull out her chair for her, brownie points!)
It’s The Little Things
In conclusion, it’s the little things that are the most important. Like complimenting her on how she looks when you see her (shows you appreciate all the effort she took to look good), pulling out her chair for her, listening to her speak, giving genuine insights (I mean, she IS going on this date to get to know you), linking conversations to topics previously discussed (on Tinder, social media or during the date) to show you keep what she says in mind and you’re slightly playful with all she tells you. Hopefully this article gave you a general idea of what to expect and what not to do on a first date. As your relationship progresses, your date nights will also likewise evolve. Of course everyone’s salaries and budgets are different, so you should discuss this early on at some point as your relationship progresses. Maybe you could take her out for dinner once or twice a week and she could cook for you sometimes or just bring over pizza once in a while (hasn’t failed me yet)!