Get this: dating site esync conducted a dating survey and apparently, 65% of respondents polled haven’t gone on a single date in the last month. Not great news, considering that we’re flooded with options in the smartphone era – dating sites, apps, matchmakers, so on and so forth. The question right now is: why aren’t millennials dating?

Dating, first thing, is an expensive extracurricular. With inflation on the rise and our salaries going in the opposite direction – do we really have time to spend money on other people? We barely make enough for ourselves. That being said, we also have way more hobbies that cost money – so really, if the choice is hobbies, dating, living expenses: I know which ones I’m picking.

Another huge contributing factor are the self-sabotaging trends like benching and breadcrumbing – thus traumatizing 25% of men and 19% of women in Malaysia. They’ve described their online dating experiences as bad and horrifying, but that includes 60% of single who said they’ve been matched with fake profiles and 51% who fluffed their profiles – making themselves look better than they actually are. Lying isn’t how you start a relationship, guys.

“55% of singles agree it was most important to them to feel safe and secure while using online dating platforms and apps. More online dating providers in the market can do more to ensure better dating experience for these singles,” said Violet Lim, CEO of esync and Asia’s leading relationship expert. “Our online dating platforms like esync and LunchClick are strict in maintaining a database of verified and serious singles – our dating consultants manually screen each user’s IC for marital check, and also verify their profiles based on education and income.”

Right. So, another reason millennials aren’t dating: honestly – it’s easier to just have casual sex than actually date people. We’re terrified of intimacy, which is strange considering how most of us put anything and everything up on the Internet for potential partners and employers to see. That being said, with the emphasis on personal branding – most of us craft a false persona, creating a pervading sense of impostor syndrome and fear that our partner won’t like the ‘real’ us. Even more millennials have that crippling insecurity since most things are very surface these days – I mean, I’ve heard a friend say “I don’t really have a Tinder face, so I’m not really getting dates”.

I’ve talked to a variety of people, whether it’s engaged couples or stalwart singles – all around the millennial demographic. Dating’s always been hard, and it would seem that technology has made things that much harder. Whether it’s lying about your weight, all the way to your relationship status or qualifications – you can make something up with a few taps of the keyboard. Tech has also made us lazy since well, you can order a sexual partner as easily as you can order something off of Foodpanda. Why bother developing a sense of self when you have to be able to compress it into 140 characters anyway?

Millennials, it’s about time we did something about this. Ask someone random out. Let’s live a little.

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